Moment to moment

I would like to start off this blog with a shameless promotion of myself... I'm sure you know that I play in a band called children 18:3 and we're releasing a new album June 19th. We've released the first single online, called Moment To Moment, and you can listen to it here. (please take a sec to do so and then we can continue... ready? oh! and let me know what you think!)

  Alright, so this song is a story. There's a guy who works at the circus. He is just a janitor but has dreams of one day performing, maybe walking the tightrope or even being a carnival master! As his life goes on, day after day he works, cleaning and doing the mundane, mindless tasks while watching the circus performers around him excel. And eventually he finds out that if only he had applied himself to learning and practicing, he could've lived out his dream. But instead he only fantasized about it while trudging out the easy, mindless work that he knew.

  So, we've all heard the phrases... "Every second counts" or the ever popular, "Live each day like it's your last". I really hate those... I mean, sure it's a nice thought. And an admirable goal! But let's be honest, who actually does it? Oh yeah, I'll go there. I'll be up front and admit, I waste a lot of time. Not a lot of my seconds count for much and I wouldn't want most of my days to be the ever-defining "last day of my life". So basically, phrases like that feel like a guilt trip.

  But as I thought about this song, the Holy Spirit brought to my mind a different side of the story, one that changed my whole perspective (love it when He does that!). I call it, "living in the moment".

  See, looking back on wasted time doesn't do any good. We can't get it back. And feeling guilty doesn't pay out in any way! What we need to do is: stop. press delete. move on. That simple! 

Do this with me: right now, just pause. Think about your heart, are you completely at peace right now? Or (like me, usually!) is there something, maybe several things, pressing on your mind? Causing turmoil, worry, regret. For example, today I'm dealing with a confrontation I'm going to have to make and it's killing me! I hate to shake things up, I'm a "bury it deep and hope it goes away!" kind of girl. But I know I have to address it cause my heart is not at rest. (I may or may not do a blog on confrontations in the future...stay tuned) So, you probably can think of a thing or two, right? Maybe you skipped devos yesterday, or all last week (I've been there, sister!). Maybe you had an argument with a sibling or friend and said something you aren't proud of, or wasted an entire day watching food network on Youtube (yeah, done that too) Whatever it is... right now, stop. press delete. Tell Jesus how much you love Him.

  Look, I am not a super christian... and I'm guessing you aren't either- cause I don't think they actually exist! I will not be able to make every second count. Nor will I be able to live every day in some kind of perfectly holy, dedicated way that somehow justifies my whole life if I died at the end of it! But here's what I CAN do. I can stop dwelling on wasted moments in the past. I will stop worrying about the next moment (hour, day, month...) And I will simply love Jesus right now. In this moment. Whoa. Got teared up for a sec. (guess that means He's lovin' on me right back!)

  The best I have to give the Lord is this second, right now. And that counts. That blesses God. That is what I want to die doing. Giving Him THAT moment.

  Delete everything that has happened before this next breath... ready? Inhale, exhale. Tell Jesus how much you love Him.

Good job in life! You are a super christian in my book. :)

Keep running!

LM

P.S. Just to getcha pumped... I plan on writing a blog about every song on our new album. But I thought I'd wait till they're released so you can enjoy listening and then (hopefully!) be encouraged or challenged by their message! Stay tuned...

Easter.... battles and victories.

Dear sisters,
So yesterday was Easter. And I was thinking about it while I had my morning devos... I thought about the great lengths Jesus went through to gain victory. He struggled through every battle I would ever fight, carried every sin I would ever commit against Him and fought every single obstacle and power of darkness that would ever come against me. And not just me. But every single life that had ever and would ever come to be- whether they would except it or not. He went through this in 4 days (died on one, in the grave for three). And he won complete victory. Done. Everything is settled as far as God is concerned.

As I thought of this, I began to think about my battles. The big ones I am fighting right now, the ongoing ones that I slip in and out of, the small things that continually get the better of me... and it occurred to me, as I thought of a particular battle in my heart:

He has already fought this battle. Jesus fought this very fight that I am fighting right now. And He won.

He stands in victory right now and I have access to that victory. Somehow, some way, I can access total victory over every battle. I can simply walk over the enemy by no strength of my own and nothing that I have accomplished, because Jesus crushed his head. That is the story of easter.
Okay. How come I am not walking in complete victory over every battle in my life? Why do I still have issues. Why am I not perfectly happy?
Well, for one thing, Jesus didn't die so we could have perfect, safe, comfortable lives and never be in need of anything. He created us to NEED Him. He promised us lives of sacrifice, denying ourselves, suffering and persecution. These things refine us, sift our hearts and make us hungry for Him. He leads us through the wilderness (problems, sickness, poverty, betrayals, confusion...fill in the blank) so that we will come out leaning on Him. (Song of Solomon 8:5)

But what about sin, bondage, depression, lies from the pit of hell... What about cutting, eating disorders, self-abuse, self-hatred... what about all these things that trap so many of my generation (not excluding myself). Jesus bought us freedom from these battles by the very blood of torture and death. It is our inheritance to walk completely free. It's what happens when we get saved, it's what we preach, it's Christianity 101, right?
I can't say that I walk in that complete freedom. I daresay, most of us can't. But I know we can.

I don't have the answers. But I am determined to pray this one out. I want access to the victory that Jesus stands in. I want it for every one of you.

Happy Easter. I'm praying for you.

Keep on runnin' (Hebrews 12:1)
Leah

Disappointments

I would like to say a few words on disappointment. I have been hearing of one situation after another of disappointment lately so it's been on my heart this morning. And I'll be honest... I hate that word. There's nothing quite like that crushing moment when your heart drops, your face heats up and turns pink, and that little idea cements itself into your innermost being...

"That wasn't right! It should've been like this..."

I've had as many disappointments as the next girl but one forever stays in my mind as the "big one". The closest I've ever come to heartbreak. It involved a lead role in a play... I know- not very original! But this play was Jane Austin's, Pride and Prejudice. My favorite book by my favorite fiction author. And this part was Elizabeth Bennet, my all time favorite heroine! I literally had most of the part memorized before I even looked at the script. THAT'S how much I loved the story. I was thrilled to find out that our home school group was putting it on. People I knew were already asking me if I was going to play the lead and I was trying not to count it a sure thing in my heart... no, I really wasn't that vain. But I knew I had a pretty good chance.

Come auditions. (Man, I hate auditions!) Here's the thing, it wasn't that I read well, and it wasn't that I did terrible... They never let me read the part. I kept watching my girlfriends give it a go, not even doing an English accent, for goodness sakes! (yes, I was being the immature and cocky critic...) Waiting impatiently to hear my name and finally I heard, "That's all! We will send out the cast list in a couple of weeks."
And then all my friends were surrounding me, chatting animatedly about which parts they had read. I could barely hold myself together till we got out to the van. I sobbed violently the whole ride home (and I was driving too... definitely a rode hazard!).
Well, I didn't get the part. Go figure. But I think not even being allowed to read it at the audition was more crushing. It was so hard not to be bitter, to think, "If they'd only seen ME do the part!"
I remember talking to the girl who did get the part and she said, "I will have to find that book and read it..." I couldn't believe it. SHE HADN'T EVEN READ ELIZABETH BENNET'S BEAUTIFUL CHARACTER.
I loaned her my copy. Or should I say, one of my copies.

I can say now that she did a wonderful job. And my own brother played her lover so I guess it wouldn't have worked out for me to get that part anyway (awkward!).
This was years ago... I had long since given up the thought of playing a lead role in a drama. And here's the thing, here's what finally settled it in my heart, what put my mind at peace:

Father saw me that night. He counted every tear. HE DIDN'T FORGET.

The Lord gives us ample opportunities to deal with disappointments. He is looking at our hearts. Will we have the right attitudes? Will we congratulate the one who beat us; who got the lead role; who got the promotion, the record deal, the coveted spot on the sports team, the boy...? Will we surrender our bitterness and embrace a smaller part with all of our heart?
Even if it was unjust. Even if we WOULD have done better. Even if we never got the chance to prove ourselves.

I PROMISE you, if you do this, He'll reward you. BIG TIME. And I'm not just talking some crown on your head in a far off, blurry, place in the clouds. I'm talking right here on earth.
See there's this time after Jesus comes back to receive His bride, the church, that the book of Revelation calls the Millennium, or the Thousand Year Reign. It's when Jesus sets up a kingdom on this earth and restores it to a Garden of Eden like environment (and we get to help). There will be business, education, arts, music, THEATRE, sports, religion (perfect religion :), all those things that make up society and we, His church, get to be on the forefront! You could get that lead role in a perfect play, that best spot-on the perfect team!

I believe your greatest disappointment now could and will lead to your greatest promotion in the age to come.

Didn't get that job of a lifetime? How about your dream job for eternity? Yeah girl! I want THAT.
So here's the thing, sometimes we do get a lead role later on... finally. Or that promotion. Or the best place on the soccer team. Or the record deal. Or the boy... But that isn't really the most important thing here.

Disappointment is a test. Thankfully, if we don't pass the first time, we get another test. And the Lord is keeping score (here's the good part: as long as we repent, He only remembers the tests that we pass!). He will reward a humble heart. He gave you that one desire. He WILL fulfill it.

So... this was a long one, ha ha! I would love to hear from you, about how you overcame a disappointment or how I can pray for one you're struggling with now. Just drop me a line.


Jer. 29:11. He's got plans for you, girls. BIG PLANS.

Love you!

LM

The Glad Game

I have to confess, I am a pretty negative person. Can anyone relate? I try not to be- but so often my first reaction to a situation, even if it's not a bad one, is on the downside. But I've been learning this lesson I thought I'd share....

My brother Dave and I are in a stage production of a play called, "Pollyanna", right now. It's being performed in April but there's practices every week till then. We LOVE the theater, it's my favorite thing to do when we're not on the road with the band.

The play is based on a story about a little girl named Pollyanna and her "glad game" that she plays. It all started when she was very little and wanted a doll very badly. Her folks were missionaries out west (in the early 1900s) and poor as anything. The only way they obtained anything material was through the "missionary barrel"- donations sent in a barrel from churches back East. Well, the barrel came and there was no doll- just a pair of crutches. Little Pollyanna was crushed. Her father was very wise and said that if they could find something to be glad about they could play a new game... and Pollyanna loved games (perhaps from an absence of toys). But it was very hard when she was so disappointed. Finally it came to them- they could be glad that they didn't have to use the crutches! Her legs were perfect and strong! From then on, through the whole story, she plays the game. When both parents die and she's left alone; when she has to go live with her cranky, mean aunt Polly (played by yours truly! :) and when a terrible accident happens that changes everything. Time and again she struggles and fights to find something to be glad about.

So often I figure that unless I can change myself to think positive automatically, I will always be a negative person. But, like anything worthwhile, practice makes perfect. Even when our first reaction is, "oh how awful!" we can stop and think, 'what is there to be glad about?' It doesn't feel natural the first time, let me tell you! And I don't expect it will the next 50 times either... but even if we don't feel glad, we can make the choice to find something good in every situation. If we keep on practicing soon it will come so naturally that we won't even realize we are playing the game.

"There is ALWAYS a reason to be glad", is a quote from the story. I dare you to challenge that theory- try to find something to be glad about in EVERY hard situation that you face for a certain period of time- a week, even a day. Keep a journal and look back on it- tell me about it, I want to hear your stories! I don't think you'll be disappointed... :)

Oh, and by the way, if you'd like to come watch our play in April, you are invited! I'll post all the details sooner to the performance. :)

LOVE you all!
LM

Trying to figure out this thing called "communion".

I was thinking about communion this morning... I never really understood it. I mean, you go up at church, eat a cracker, drink some juice, think about the cross and try to feel really reverent while you go back to your seat.... I just never really understood the real point. I know it has something to do with repentance, but why not just repent? Why drink some juice and eat a cracker?
So I asked the Holy Spirit, "what's the deal? How is communion more than a religious exercise?" And I looked up the verses on the Lord's supper in all the gospels (well, Matt., Mark and Luke). One phrase jumped out at me...

Then He took the cup, and gave thanks, and said, “Take this and divide it among yourselves; for I say to you, I will not drink of the fruit of the vine until the kingdom of God comes.” Lk. 22:17-18

Wine is a symbol of celebration. (How you feel or don't feel about alcohol isn't the point here, it's like a synonym for joy and pleasure:) What Jesus is saying here is, "I am in mourning until I come back. I am not going to be up in heaven partying and enjoying life while you stick it out on this sick, rotten earth. I will be missing you and waiting and being sorrowful and praying for you and yearning for the day I can return and be with you again." (my own version there...)
Jesus doesn't ask us to take up our crosses in this life, denying our own desires and giving up everything for Him, while He is up in heaven enjoying perfect conditions and a glorified body... He could, He's God! But He said, "I will not drink this again." I will not celebrate without you. I will not have joy and celebration and feasting. I will be longing for the day when we are together again!
So, I still have a lot to learn about communion. But one thing I will think about next time I have that little cracker and juice is that the Lord is, in a way, fasting until we are together again. Denying Himself, until He can be with us forever. Wow.

You are His beloved ones.

LM

Day (off) in the life and thoughts from Jeremiah

My dear girls,

Sometimes days off are like a peaceful meadow in the midst of a stormy sea.... or in other words, a chance to sleep in between weeks of stressful touring and over night drives.
Other times, namely when you're expecting a good day of studio time and your producer texts you and says he has to re-boot his computer and take the day off, you feel kind of lost... And then you make the most of it... With Christmas shopping!
I started out the day by getting up super early to read my bible and talk to my Lord before leaving for the studio. Then we didn't have to leave so I hung out in the hotel breakfast room for an hour or so and dug into some Revelation.


Then... coffee and more bible study at our friendly neighborhood Starbucks. (They really are friendly here in Knoxville. We've only been here twice and the barista already gave me a cheerful, "Hello again!") This time I spent some time with Jeremiah. A couple verses in the first chapters of this book just moved my heart so much the last few days...

Jer. 1:17 Therefore prepare yourself and arise, and speak to them all that I command you.
Do not be dismayed before their faces, lest I dismay you before them.

This is the Lord talking to Jeremiah. Sometimes God encourages us like, Don't be afraid! It's okay, I'm here beside you!! And other times He commands us, Do not fear! I am the LORD. Do you not believe in Me that I have your back? (that's my own way of putting it btw :)
I need to remember the command to be bold and speak without fear.


Jer. 2:1 I remember you, the kindness of your youth, the love of your betrothal,
when you went after Me in the wilderness, in a land not sown.

Someday we will be with Jesus. We will love Him perfectly. We will have no pain, no sorrow and our joy will be complete. That will be wonderful. But right now, I believe there is nothing that moves the Lord's heart like a wounded, lonely, crying child that says, "Lord, I LOVE You in my heartache! I will go after You in the wilderness!" Now is the only time in our existence that we can love the Lord in the midst of the pain and sorrow. What an opportunity! Let's not waste our tears, let's move the Lord's heart.


After coffee, we did a lil shopping. Ended up in a HUGE used bookstore called McKays.

And there we were! Right behind ol' Steven. There weren't any actual disks. (they probably go like hotcakes... very hot commodity.)


I didn't get any presents but I did find... Oh! My favorite group- Point of Grace's remix album. I remember borrowing this from my friend, Jamie, years ago. I always loved the remix of "Gather at the River" way better than the original.



After shopping it was time to refuel. This is my FAVORITE thing in the world of nutrition. Bolthouse Farm juices. Make note of this, ladies! You can find them cheapest at Walmart or Super Target. They will make you happy. :)


Then back to the hotel to work on lyrics.
Trying to write about justice...


Maybe a Jimmy Stewart movie about Nazi Germany on TCM will help... (wish I was HER!)


Ending the day with pizza...
Which I skipped out on for a work out! Happy girl.

Days off are great. But can't wait to get back to work.

I love you all! Stand for justice and love Jesus in the wilderness. Let me know if you need prayer. I still need some lyrics... so prayers would be appreciated! :)

LM

Just life...

Greetings from the stix! (I mean the studio.) This is the work-out/writing lyrics room. Well, it's just where I hang out and write cause every where else has such dim lighting I can't read my own writing. (but it does set a nice mood...)
Been hangin' in Knoxville for a few days now, Seth just finished drums yesterday. Today D. starts on guitars. I just hang around and alternately think about lyrics and watch Star Wars. :)

Meet Travis. He's our producer. He's pretty funny but he's good. Really good. We're writing and re-writing and changing and cutting and adding. I think since this will be our 3rd record on Tooth and Nail we're all way less protective, way more ready to tear it up and do it better.

This is Travis' backyard. It's gorgeous. When it warms up (it seems that we bring the snow and cold wherever we go...) he said we could hang in the hot tub and grill out. Yeah.

Just a day in the life... now to think up some good song lyrics about justice.

Blessings!
LM