Disappointments

I would like to say a few words on disappointment. I have been hearing of one situation after another of disappointment lately so it's been on my heart this morning. And I'll be honest... I hate that word. There's nothing quite like that crushing moment when your heart drops, your face heats up and turns pink, and that little idea cements itself into your innermost being...

"That wasn't right! It should've been like this..."

I've had as many disappointments as the next girl but one forever stays in my mind as the "big one". The closest I've ever come to heartbreak. It involved a lead role in a play... I know- not very original! But this play was Jane Austin's, Pride and Prejudice. My favorite book by my favorite fiction author. And this part was Elizabeth Bennet, my all time favorite heroine! I literally had most of the part memorized before I even looked at the script. THAT'S how much I loved the story. I was thrilled to find out that our home school group was putting it on. People I knew were already asking me if I was going to play the lead and I was trying not to count it a sure thing in my heart... no, I really wasn't that vain. But I knew I had a pretty good chance.

Come auditions. (Man, I hate auditions!) Here's the thing, it wasn't that I read well, and it wasn't that I did terrible... They never let me read the part. I kept watching my girlfriends give it a go, not even doing an English accent, for goodness sakes! (yes, I was being the immature and cocky critic...) Waiting impatiently to hear my name and finally I heard, "That's all! We will send out the cast list in a couple of weeks."
And then all my friends were surrounding me, chatting animatedly about which parts they had read. I could barely hold myself together till we got out to the van. I sobbed violently the whole ride home (and I was driving too... definitely a rode hazard!).
Well, I didn't get the part. Go figure. But I think not even being allowed to read it at the audition was more crushing. It was so hard not to be bitter, to think, "If they'd only seen ME do the part!"
I remember talking to the girl who did get the part and she said, "I will have to find that book and read it..." I couldn't believe it. SHE HADN'T EVEN READ ELIZABETH BENNET'S BEAUTIFUL CHARACTER.
I loaned her my copy. Or should I say, one of my copies.

I can say now that she did a wonderful job. And my own brother played her lover so I guess it wouldn't have worked out for me to get that part anyway (awkward!).
This was years ago... I had long since given up the thought of playing a lead role in a drama. And here's the thing, here's what finally settled it in my heart, what put my mind at peace:

Father saw me that night. He counted every tear. HE DIDN'T FORGET.

The Lord gives us ample opportunities to deal with disappointments. He is looking at our hearts. Will we have the right attitudes? Will we congratulate the one who beat us; who got the lead role; who got the promotion, the record deal, the coveted spot on the sports team, the boy...? Will we surrender our bitterness and embrace a smaller part with all of our heart?
Even if it was unjust. Even if we WOULD have done better. Even if we never got the chance to prove ourselves.

I PROMISE you, if you do this, He'll reward you. BIG TIME. And I'm not just talking some crown on your head in a far off, blurry, place in the clouds. I'm talking right here on earth.
See there's this time after Jesus comes back to receive His bride, the church, that the book of Revelation calls the Millennium, or the Thousand Year Reign. It's when Jesus sets up a kingdom on this earth and restores it to a Garden of Eden like environment (and we get to help). There will be business, education, arts, music, THEATRE, sports, religion (perfect religion :), all those things that make up society and we, His church, get to be on the forefront! You could get that lead role in a perfect play, that best spot-on the perfect team!

I believe your greatest disappointment now could and will lead to your greatest promotion in the age to come.

Didn't get that job of a lifetime? How about your dream job for eternity? Yeah girl! I want THAT.
So here's the thing, sometimes we do get a lead role later on... finally. Or that promotion. Or the best place on the soccer team. Or the record deal. Or the boy... But that isn't really the most important thing here.

Disappointment is a test. Thankfully, if we don't pass the first time, we get another test. And the Lord is keeping score (here's the good part: as long as we repent, He only remembers the tests that we pass!). He will reward a humble heart. He gave you that one desire. He WILL fulfill it.

So... this was a long one, ha ha! I would love to hear from you, about how you overcame a disappointment or how I can pray for one you're struggling with now. Just drop me a line.


Jer. 29:11. He's got plans for you, girls. BIG PLANS.

Love you!

LM

The Glad Game

I have to confess, I am a pretty negative person. Can anyone relate? I try not to be- but so often my first reaction to a situation, even if it's not a bad one, is on the downside. But I've been learning this lesson I thought I'd share....

My brother Dave and I are in a stage production of a play called, "Pollyanna", right now. It's being performed in April but there's practices every week till then. We LOVE the theater, it's my favorite thing to do when we're not on the road with the band.

The play is based on a story about a little girl named Pollyanna and her "glad game" that she plays. It all started when she was very little and wanted a doll very badly. Her folks were missionaries out west (in the early 1900s) and poor as anything. The only way they obtained anything material was through the "missionary barrel"- donations sent in a barrel from churches back East. Well, the barrel came and there was no doll- just a pair of crutches. Little Pollyanna was crushed. Her father was very wise and said that if they could find something to be glad about they could play a new game... and Pollyanna loved games (perhaps from an absence of toys). But it was very hard when she was so disappointed. Finally it came to them- they could be glad that they didn't have to use the crutches! Her legs were perfect and strong! From then on, through the whole story, she plays the game. When both parents die and she's left alone; when she has to go live with her cranky, mean aunt Polly (played by yours truly! :) and when a terrible accident happens that changes everything. Time and again she struggles and fights to find something to be glad about.

So often I figure that unless I can change myself to think positive automatically, I will always be a negative person. But, like anything worthwhile, practice makes perfect. Even when our first reaction is, "oh how awful!" we can stop and think, 'what is there to be glad about?' It doesn't feel natural the first time, let me tell you! And I don't expect it will the next 50 times either... but even if we don't feel glad, we can make the choice to find something good in every situation. If we keep on practicing soon it will come so naturally that we won't even realize we are playing the game.

"There is ALWAYS a reason to be glad", is a quote from the story. I dare you to challenge that theory- try to find something to be glad about in EVERY hard situation that you face for a certain period of time- a week, even a day. Keep a journal and look back on it- tell me about it, I want to hear your stories! I don't think you'll be disappointed... :)

Oh, and by the way, if you'd like to come watch our play in April, you are invited! I'll post all the details sooner to the performance. :)

LOVE you all!
LM

Trying to figure out this thing called "communion".

I was thinking about communion this morning... I never really understood it. I mean, you go up at church, eat a cracker, drink some juice, think about the cross and try to feel really reverent while you go back to your seat.... I just never really understood the real point. I know it has something to do with repentance, but why not just repent? Why drink some juice and eat a cracker?
So I asked the Holy Spirit, "what's the deal? How is communion more than a religious exercise?" And I looked up the verses on the Lord's supper in all the gospels (well, Matt., Mark and Luke). One phrase jumped out at me...

Then He took the cup, and gave thanks, and said, “Take this and divide it among yourselves; for I say to you, I will not drink of the fruit of the vine until the kingdom of God comes.” Lk. 22:17-18

Wine is a symbol of celebration. (How you feel or don't feel about alcohol isn't the point here, it's like a synonym for joy and pleasure:) What Jesus is saying here is, "I am in mourning until I come back. I am not going to be up in heaven partying and enjoying life while you stick it out on this sick, rotten earth. I will be missing you and waiting and being sorrowful and praying for you and yearning for the day I can return and be with you again." (my own version there...)
Jesus doesn't ask us to take up our crosses in this life, denying our own desires and giving up everything for Him, while He is up in heaven enjoying perfect conditions and a glorified body... He could, He's God! But He said, "I will not drink this again." I will not celebrate without you. I will not have joy and celebration and feasting. I will be longing for the day when we are together again!
So, I still have a lot to learn about communion. But one thing I will think about next time I have that little cracker and juice is that the Lord is, in a way, fasting until we are together again. Denying Himself, until He can be with us forever. Wow.

You are His beloved ones.

LM

Day (off) in the life and thoughts from Jeremiah

My dear girls,

Sometimes days off are like a peaceful meadow in the midst of a stormy sea.... or in other words, a chance to sleep in between weeks of stressful touring and over night drives.
Other times, namely when you're expecting a good day of studio time and your producer texts you and says he has to re-boot his computer and take the day off, you feel kind of lost... And then you make the most of it... With Christmas shopping!
I started out the day by getting up super early to read my bible and talk to my Lord before leaving for the studio. Then we didn't have to leave so I hung out in the hotel breakfast room for an hour or so and dug into some Revelation.


Then... coffee and more bible study at our friendly neighborhood Starbucks. (They really are friendly here in Knoxville. We've only been here twice and the barista already gave me a cheerful, "Hello again!") This time I spent some time with Jeremiah. A couple verses in the first chapters of this book just moved my heart so much the last few days...

Jer. 1:17 Therefore prepare yourself and arise, and speak to them all that I command you.
Do not be dismayed before their faces, lest I dismay you before them.

This is the Lord talking to Jeremiah. Sometimes God encourages us like, Don't be afraid! It's okay, I'm here beside you!! And other times He commands us, Do not fear! I am the LORD. Do you not believe in Me that I have your back? (that's my own way of putting it btw :)
I need to remember the command to be bold and speak without fear.


Jer. 2:1 I remember you, the kindness of your youth, the love of your betrothal,
when you went after Me in the wilderness, in a land not sown.

Someday we will be with Jesus. We will love Him perfectly. We will have no pain, no sorrow and our joy will be complete. That will be wonderful. But right now, I believe there is nothing that moves the Lord's heart like a wounded, lonely, crying child that says, "Lord, I LOVE You in my heartache! I will go after You in the wilderness!" Now is the only time in our existence that we can love the Lord in the midst of the pain and sorrow. What an opportunity! Let's not waste our tears, let's move the Lord's heart.


After coffee, we did a lil shopping. Ended up in a HUGE used bookstore called McKays.

And there we were! Right behind ol' Steven. There weren't any actual disks. (they probably go like hotcakes... very hot commodity.)


I didn't get any presents but I did find... Oh! My favorite group- Point of Grace's remix album. I remember borrowing this from my friend, Jamie, years ago. I always loved the remix of "Gather at the River" way better than the original.



After shopping it was time to refuel. This is my FAVORITE thing in the world of nutrition. Bolthouse Farm juices. Make note of this, ladies! You can find them cheapest at Walmart or Super Target. They will make you happy. :)


Then back to the hotel to work on lyrics.
Trying to write about justice...


Maybe a Jimmy Stewart movie about Nazi Germany on TCM will help... (wish I was HER!)


Ending the day with pizza...
Which I skipped out on for a work out! Happy girl.

Days off are great. But can't wait to get back to work.

I love you all! Stand for justice and love Jesus in the wilderness. Let me know if you need prayer. I still need some lyrics... so prayers would be appreciated! :)

LM

Just life...

Greetings from the stix! (I mean the studio.) This is the work-out/writing lyrics room. Well, it's just where I hang out and write cause every where else has such dim lighting I can't read my own writing. (but it does set a nice mood...)
Been hangin' in Knoxville for a few days now, Seth just finished drums yesterday. Today D. starts on guitars. I just hang around and alternately think about lyrics and watch Star Wars. :)

Meet Travis. He's our producer. He's pretty funny but he's good. Really good. We're writing and re-writing and changing and cutting and adding. I think since this will be our 3rd record on Tooth and Nail we're all way less protective, way more ready to tear it up and do it better.

This is Travis' backyard. It's gorgeous. When it warms up (it seems that we bring the snow and cold wherever we go...) he said we could hang in the hot tub and grill out. Yeah.

Just a day in the life... now to think up some good song lyrics about justice.

Blessings!
LM

Affecting the atmosphere

Guten Tag!
I am currently in Ennepetal, Germany. Doin' a festival here Fri. and Sat. We drove down to Knoxville, TN last week and started the new record. Did 2 days of pre-production then headed to Nashville to fly out from there last night. I'm runnin' on 2 hours of sleep since about.... I don't know 26 hours ago? Not including a lil doze on the plane. But it's been good times so far!
It always hits me when I look outside and see trees. I don't know why, but it's like- "Whoa! I'm in a different country. But the trees are the same." It's a crazy feeling. Every time I am over here I have a longing inside to intercede for this country. What an amazing opportunity to affect the atmosphere. There is a heaviness here, and I think in many parts of the world that I don't feel at home. I pray constantly in my heart that I can "speak" peace, joy, life and light into the very air while I am here.
Do you know that you can actually change the atmosphere? There is a spiritual climate that can be altered when we step into our authority in Christ.
On the plane I read in Mark the story of Jesus and the disciples crossing a stormy sea in a little boat that was tossed by the waves as Jesus, exhausted from days of ministry, slept in the back. As the disciples began to panic they woke Him and He very calmly took care of the situation. Just a few words and.... peace. I read somewhere that you have authority over any storm you can sleep through. If there is total peace and trust in your heart, you can speak that out into the atmosphere.
So the first thing is to learn total peace and trust in stormy situations, right? Yeah, I'm not there yet! But I'll start small. The next time you're in a stressful situation- maybe not even involving you- in a line at the grocery store, at the airport, in the mall, at a show- just begin to speak, "peace be still" into the air. Speak in tongues under your breath-it's a powerful weapon against darkness!
In the meantime, I've gotta head to a meet&greet and hopefully find some food for mah growling stomach!

Tchuss! (bye)
LM

"Were there not any found who returned to give glory to God except this foreigner?"

I was just reminded (by my fav bloggers: Point of Grace. Don't laugh, when I was growing up they were so in. I'm a huge fan.) to consider the story of the ten lepers today. Denise mentioned it quickly at the end of a post but it caught my attention.
It's a pretty familiar story, ten lepers ask for mercy. Jesus sends them to the temple, on the way they are miraculously healed. But just one returns to thank Jesus. It seems rather incredible to me every time I read it, I mean- leprosy was serious. These people had barely any hope but to survive another day and beg food off of someone-from a distance. They were given their lives back in an instant and just walked off?
But today I thought, how many times do I pray for a breakthrough in my own life, and then when I do get it-especially if it's right away, just walk off, satisfied? Or even just give a little, "Sweet! Thanks Lord! You're awesome."?

" And one of them, when he saw that he was healed, returned, and with a loud voice glorified God, and fell down on his face at His feet, giving Him thanks. And he was a Samaritan."

That's more than a quick thanks! That is worship. Adoration. Radical expression of thanksgiving. Maybe this guy was more impacted because he was a foreigner. I always assume that to mean the other 9 were all Jews- maybe they felt entitled to healing. Maybe this Samaritan didn't have as much hope that HE would be healed as well...
I don't want to take a miracle for granted just because I am a christian. Every day I live is from the Lord and I don't deserve it. And I am certainly not entitled to the blessings heaped upon me!

Lord, make me a radical giver of thanks!! Because You are worthy. Because You give good gifts. I will praise You every day, for Your new mercies and loving-kindness to me!

Don't just say "thank You" today. Worship the Lord with thanksgiving!!!

Love you, sisters!

LM